Curmudgeons All Over the World Aghast After RGIII Reveals New Logo

Posted on April 09, 2014 by Brendan Jennings

Something along the lines of "RGIII's new logo looks pretty cool" is probably what a normal person would say when they set eyes on Robert Griffin III's new logo, which by most accounts is in fact "pretty cool" aesthetically. However, the logo, which was revealed as part of a new Adidas marketing campaign centered around Griffin, has drawn much stronger reactions completely unrelated to its aesthetic merits from not only curmudgeons, but also bellyachers and sourpusses everywhere. The reactions have covered the gamut of harumphs, raised eyebrows, false recollections of the "good old days," and inquiries as to what, exactly, the world is coming to.

These guys do not care for RGIII's logo.

Photo Credit: The Muppets

James McCarthy, a decorated veteran and known malcontent from a small town in Kansas noted that back in his day, "the only logo a man had was his word." When asked by confused reporters what that meant, McCarthy requested that everyone get off of his lawn, "or else."

Deborah Smithson, known to her friends as Dundalk Debbie, has been described as a "non-stop whiner" and a rabid Ravens fan. Referring to the controversial logo, DD proclaimed that Griffin should "worry less about logos and worry more about winnin' Super Bowls, hon." She added that she couldn't imagine a Raven doing anything this offseason that would be worse than creating a pretty harmless, relatively cool looking logo.

The guy at your office who you just found out was a Seahawks fan late last year also felt that Griffin shouldn't worry about "doing all these commercials" until he "got himself a ring, like my guys Rob Sherman and Rusty Wilson." He added that Griffin would never have a long, storied career like that of Peyton Manning if he spent so much time doing commercials.

In reaction to the ad campaign, every NFL player who retired more than 10 years ago believed that it was a sign that Griffin was spending too much time on things not related to football during the offseason. Notably, this sentiment was shared in between stories of how they all drank, smoked and ate every offseason and spent the first two weeks of training camp puking into buckets. Meanwhile, Griffin, who tweeted the logo's release just after finishing his 1,000th burpee of the day, indicated that he has a lot of respect for everyone who played football in the past and is honored to play the game that they helped bring to its current level of prominence. In response, the retired players collectively shook their heads and mumbled something incomprehensible under their breath.

You can contact me on twitter @bmjennings81

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